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Originally published on December 16, 2020 on the now-defunct Best American Poetry blog. Republished in The Trouble Clef.

Illustration accompanying No Longer My Own
No Longer My Own – Ink on Paper by Lera Auerbach

Some books matter only
for the future-books
hiding in them.

Books with strong plots
offer safe captivity,
allowing us to hide.

Books without plots
may dangerously spiral,
exposing us to memories of unburnt desires.

When you are writing a book, in reality, you are writing two books:
one is the book you are writing; the other is the book
about writing the book you're writing.

I face myself in the mirror,
but I'm no longer my own.

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